Sometimes people wonder why I don’t go to a particular event and I hope this might give you some kind of answer. Of course, every persons event is important to them and they will believe that I should be where they want me to be. The problem with ministry is that there are loads of events that I could attend. Each church in the section I look after has events, then there are events in the other Circuit churches, then there are the district events and events in neighbouring circuits to say nothing of ecumenical events and events in the community.
Here is a list of my reasons why I may not be at your event – they are not necessarily in order of priotity but they all combine.
1. Family – I have always believed that my own family must take precedence over church events. When I have a working wife and children at school I don’t get opportunity to see much of them during the week. Weekday evenings are also often taken up with church meetings (sometimes business meetings, sometimes to see people about weddings and baptisms, sometimes to see people about personal things, sometimes to see community leaders, etc). As I often work all day on a Sunday I have one day in the week (Saturday) where my family can have some of my time. I firmly believe that it is the job of a minister of God to live out what he preaches each week and if I am going to preach about the importance of family (and I hope churches would want me to) then I sometimes have to sacrifice being at a church event for the sake of my family.
2. My health – ministers are very susceptible to breakdown and ill health. In fact this has happened to past ministers in the section of the circuit I am working in. There is quite simply too much to do. I once worked as a Stress Management Trainer (I had to train and get qualified to do this). I am very aware of the effects of long term stress and the perils of ignoring it. Doctors today believe that as much as 80% of serious illness has a direct link with stress (stress does not cause illness but it can trigger it and certainly makes it much worse). Stress is also the leading cause of long term sick leave (back pain being the first for short term). On top of this I have been reminded just recently of what can happen with three of my own friends having heart attacks (to say nothing of the heart attacks I have heard about in the news lately). I can say with some confidence that they, my friends attacks, are all linked to stress. I am determined that this will not happen to me but to avoid it I must take a pro-active approach to looking after myself. This means taking rest and relaxation when it is needed.
3. Higher priorities – maybe the two above qualify for this anyway but there are also priorities in my work. Although I would, of course, love to spend more time with all of you I have to prioritise my time as best as I can. You may have reasons why you think I should make your event a priority but I have to decide based on what I believe God has called me into ministry for. God chose me for a reason, and whilst I struggle to understand what that reason might be, I do know that he did it because he wanted to use my gifts and talents for the benefit of the church. This means that it is my duty to prioritise my time based on what I believe God has called me to do. Your idea for what I should be doing may be different but I have to be true to my calling. I don’t honestly believe that God called me to fund raise (some ministers he did) or to spend my time socialising (enjoyable though this is and some ministers do seem called to this). This does not mean I will never socialise (I think this can be important for ministry) or help with fund-raising (this is part of every Christian’s duty as part of our care for the world and our communities). I am really sorry if this dissapoints anyone but you would want me to be honest and open about this I’m sure.
4. Other ministries – not all I do is about your church. I believe it is part of my role to engage with the communities in which I am based. This will mean doing things that have no direct link to the churches I serve. It takes a great deal of time and energy to do this (I often have to build a relationship from nothing and sometimes with people who are very suspicious of church). However, if we are going to help create the kind of world I believe God wants then the church must leave its buildings and engage with the community. At the moment I am engaging with young people through the Duke of Edinburgh Award scheme. This has proved to be very valuable work and I have had more meaningful conversations with non-church people doing this than through anything else I have tried. You also know that I do some of my work on the Web. Engaging with people who have been hurt by the church and with people who have an interest in spiritual things but doubt the church can help. This is direct work ‘on the frontline’ if you like, it is very demanding and challenging and takes up time.
5. Self – sorry to be a little selfish for my last point. I am still a person. I get tired, I get grumpy, I need prayer, I need rest and relaxation, my life is supposed to be enjoyable as well as yours.
There are many other things I could say – but I don’t want to take up too much of your time. This is also not a moan – honestly. I hope you will understand that I say all this because it is important you understand why I was not at your event. I believe that the Methodist people are very supportive of their ministers and I know that you are to me. Just occasionally, though, I sense some dissapointment about things that I don’t come to, you can help me by understanding and not showing that dissapointment. I am a sensitive soul (you have to be in ministry) and the occasional dig and innocent comment can hurt and undermine the work I try to do.
Thanks for your support in this matter.
