Category Archives: Thoughts

Random thing that I’m thinking about

Frustrating Memory

Do you ever get frustrated by your memory? I do.

I’ve always struggled with names, for instance, and spellings for that matter. No matter what technique I use it just never seems to work. At school I hated spelling tests and did all I could to get things right but just could not succeed. I would know how to spell them for about an hour after practice and then in the test I couldn’t remember. The same thing with names.

One of the other things is when I know something but I can’t for the life of me remember why I know it. For instance at a Local Preachers day in the Circuit I was trying to explain that I thought the magnificat was like a desperate release – it all kind of gushes out of Mary. Of course trying to justify this from the bible is hard because Mary is told her own news when Elizabeth is 6 months old and then visits Elizabeth and 3 months later John is born. This doesn’t leave much time for thinking or getting frustrated (on Mary’s part).

However, Mary does travel from Nazareth to the hills of Judea (presumably avoiding Samaria as most travelers did it seems). This is about 70 miles I believe. This would have taken at least a few days and probably more. Ample time to feel frustrated in your own thoughts I think. But could I remember this detail that I had obviously noticed before? No! I wonder how many times this has happened to me? More than I can number.

There were several other things just like that which frustrated me as well.

So it’s back to the books and reminding myself of everything that I have forgotten – how nice it would be not to have to do this – perhaps this is something I can look forward to in the next life.

God just never lets go

My life, since becoming a Christian hasn’t always worked out the way I would want it to.  There is a large part of me that would just love to have a very normal life. That is have a normal job ,  earn a moderate amount of money, sit at the back of a church during services, spend my time with my family, etc. Of course it is debatable whether anyone ever gets to live that kind of life but I guess there are quite a number of people who would like it.

But God always seems to have other plans for me. It doesn’t matter what I try or how hard I work at it I just can’t seem to avoid God calling on me to do something. I’m not complaining about God’s call because such times are usually what I find fulfilling and exciting but they do have their consequences.

I have pleaded with God to leave me alone at times (and I do mean pleaded). I have wept and agonised over all that God asks me to do. I’ve tried ignoring God in the hopes that perhaps God will let me be and leave me to get on with my life but God never leaves me.

I’ve come to know Psalm 139 pretty well over the years:

1 O Lord, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths,a you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

The Holy Bible : New International Version. 1984; Published in electronic form by Logos Research Systems, 1996 (electronic edition.) (Ps 139:1). London: Hodder & Stoughton.
Ultimately I’ve been forced to do what God wants me to do. I don’t say this because I think I’m better than any other Christian and I’m sure this is the experience of most, if not all, of Christians.
I’m reluctantly learning that it is far better and easier to co-operate with God than to resist. The funny thing is that although I think I want to resist I only ever feel happy when I don’t.

Cold stops blogger in his tracks

I find myself with a problem. I’ve written two different blog entries today (this is my third) and each one has ended up in the trash. My problem is that I have a cold and its making me a little grumpy. This resulted in a couple of grumpy attempts at blogging. I don’t want to fill up my blog with lots of negative comments so I’m going to let everyone know that I’ve got a cold and won’t be blogging until I can find something positive to say.